Going to take a moment...

I feel like I've come pretty far from this time last year. Last year I was living in a shed, unhappy and confused about life. I didn't have my family's support, I wasn't going to school, I was completely embarrassed of my situation. But what I did have was a group of amazing friends who helped pull me through. I don't know where I would be without these people.

I had my best friend's parents who completely stepped up for me. They gave me a place to stay when I had nowhere to go, they gave me a loan to get a car when mine broke down, and they were there for me emotionally. When I felt most alone, they took me in as if I were one of their own. Many a time their generosity brought me to tears, and still does.

I had my best friends Alicia, Alex, and Natalie. We always had (and still have) a great time, which gave me a mental break when I needed it. Those girls mean everything to me. They were a beacon of light in such a dark and trying time.

I had another one of my best friends, Linda. She really inspired me to go back to school and work hard. She has an amazing life and is such a caring and generous person. I feel like compared to most people, she and I have a pretty similar background, all things considered. Whenever I feel hopeless, I think about how hard she worked to get where she is and it helps me to push through. I love that we can go awhile without talking, but pick up like we just saw each other yesterday. She welcomed me to be apart of her wedding, which was such an unexpected honor. As far as I'm concerned, she's family.

These are but a few of the people that helped bring me to where I am now. By no means am I where I want to be, but I am more than on my way. And I feel like it's so important to acknowledge the people who have helped me get to just this point. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you all. There are no words to explain the gratitude and love that I feel for all of you.

I also want to throw in that although I didn't have their support last year, my relationship with my family has also grown. We are now better than before so I don't want them thinking that I don't appreciate what they've done either. I love my family eternally.

And so it begins...

Ok... so life has been crazy. As usual. But I feel like I'm at the beginning of the rest of my life. To start, I got a car (sexy miata is sexy). I also got a second job working with children with Autism. And now, here's the bigun'... the little secret I referenced in my blog prior to this...


I'm getting the lap-band!


For those of you who don't know what that is, here is a link to a video that explains the process: http://video.about.com/weightloss/Laparoscopic-Gastric-Banding.htm

So about two months ago, I was really struggling with my eating, as I have for the last 3 years. I felt a bit hopeless because no matter how hard I tried, no matter how perfect my eating was, I was still constantly hungry. I honestly felt like I would never be a healthy weight again. Only I few days later, at work, I had called a Bariatric Surgeon's office to follow up on records on a patient. As usual, the operator put me on hold... but this time, putting me on hold basically changed the course of my life. Because instead of shitty elevator music, there was an ad. It was a 22 year old girl (only a year older than myself) talking about how a year an a half ago, she was a size 22 (which I'm an 18 so close enough). She was struggling with diets due to her hunger, and she felt hopeless. At this point, I felt like I was in a cartoon where one of the characters turn on the T.V. to a commercial that is ridiculously specific to their situation. A year an a half later, however, she was down to a size 8! (I think her name might have been David Blaine...) So I went home and did what I always do when I'm, intrigued: research. Once I decided this is something I wanted to pursue, I scheduled and appointment with my physician and he thought I would be the perfect candidate (because I'm always perfect, so thank you Dr. Obvious.. kidding of course). I went to a seminar and decided this is something that I wanted for myself.

So here are a few things. For those who might think this is taking the easy way out... it's not. This is going to be a lifelong commitment. I'm going to have to give up most of my favorite foods for LIFE. My "pouch" (as they call it) will be the size of a beer pong ball, only I can't drink beer anymore (carbonation).

Also, It's not going to be till late this year that I get the procedure due to a 6 month program I need to complete first in order to be covered by insurance. So if you see me this year and I'm still fat, it's OK. Calm down. Understand this is a big decision and takes time.

But if you see me in 2 years and I'm still fat, then I broke it. Or something.